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avatar OPTimberSycamore 1 mon.ago

What kind of grades to pirates get in school?

Hi C’s!!!!

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In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. What happens if you sit on a nut?

The nut can get cracked.

2. Affair vs Hit by a Bus

A blonde is asked if she'd rather have her husband have an affair or get hit by a bus? She picks him getting hit by a bus. When asked why, she reasons that he would be dead in both cases. At least in case of the bus, she and the other woman won't suffer.

3. Patient: Doctor, Doctor, I've got a sausage up my nose and beans in my ears. What is wrong with me?

Doctor: I see the problem. You’re not eating properly.

4. Yo mama so skinny, she gets everybody free sodas by crawling in through the coin slot

5. What do you call James Bond when he forgets to shave

Stubble 0 7

6. My pirate friend retired from the pirating life and opened a grocery store...

It was a pretty average store, but he advertised GREAT prices on carrots, cabbage, cherries, coconuts, chocolate, chayote, and crackers. I asked him why he had such great deals on those specific items. He kinda just stared off in the distance, smiled, and said... "I always dreamed of a sale on the 7 C's."

7. I just got released from prison

I was really hoping they'd renew my contract but apparently I was underperforming as a cook.

8. How do you make a Swiss roll?

You push them down the mountain.

9. How many apples can you grow on a tree?

All of them.

10. Why do Indigenous people hate April?

Because April showers bring Mayflowers

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